Lord…
the reason why i started this new blog is because i desire to share certain things in my life…
but yet i know that it is not allowed to be shared to others…

Today Jo asked me…
if given a chance to be sponsed to Word of Life, Uppsala for a 3 year course in Theology…
will i go…?
Lord… you know this is the desire of my heart…
to further my studies in Theology…
if possible to a Master’s or a Doctor’s degree…
it have been my heart’s desire since i am in secondary 3…
when she asked me that…
i literally wanted to cry out saying that i want to go…

God, for only You know my deepest desire…
i may not be able to express myself like others…
but God, i know You my heart…

many things ran through my mind… haha…
like:
“what about my plans to get attached?”
“what about my plans for getting married by 24?”
“what about my mission plans for next year?”
“what about all my expenses there?”

but at the end of all these questions…
what came to me was not to reconsider whether i want to go…
but was that…
i know i can trust you…

“my life is Your hands, my heart beats in Your perfect love…

my lips shall praise You…

adore You and lifting my love i will sing…

You’re amazing…

never changing…

always with me…

enthroned within my soul…

i can do all the plannings but it is You who leads my path… 
many people thinks that i am not very sure of my future…
but the fact is…
it doesn’t matter as long as i am living out Your will, Your desire, Your purpose in my life…

“主 祢 永 远 与 我 同 在
在 祢 里 面 没 有 改 变
祢 的 坚 定    从 昨 日   到 今 日
一 直 到 永 远
靠 祢 丰 盛 应 许 站 立
我 的 未 来 在 祢 手 中
坚 固 盘 石   全 能 真 神
我 敬 拜 祢

危 难 临 到 我 信 靠 祢
深 知 祢 必 领 我 渡 过
祢 信 实 为 我 坚 持 到 最 后

当 暴 风 雨 向 我 靠 近
有 祢 同 在 我 不 至 畏 惧
祢 是 我 的 牧 者   我 所 依 靠

每 个 夜   每 一 天
我 知 祢 永 远 在 身 边 “

Lord…
i don’t know what life will be if i am to go…
i don’t know what to expect…
but Lord…
i cannot imagine my life without You…
where You called…
there i will go…

if it is Your will for me to go…
i will pack and go…

i trust that You will provide me with abundance…
i shall not live in lack…
You will provide the man for my life…
i will not seek or search…
for Lord i know You have the best instored for me…
it is not my will, but Yours be done…
here on earth as it is in heaven…

i believe that there is a purpose for Your to have put a desire in my heart…
to really study Theology…
it is not just about the head knowledge…
but it is about experiencing You, Lord…
a heart for missions…
a heart to preach the gospel to the ends of the earth…

“Saya mau khotbah akhir bumi!!!”

“I want to preach to the ends of the earth!!!”