A secret birthday wish

Actually i don’t really know what to say and how to say it..
but somewhere in my heart, there is still a space for this special friend of mine
and above all, i do really wish that he can celebrate my birthday with me
i tried to want to ask, but i did not…
i typed, but i dunno how to click the enter button…

some part of me hopes that he reads this
but some part of me dont
because even if he did
i dunno how he would react to this
but no matter how he choose to react
or even to pretend that he didnt see this…
i guess only he will know

i tink this blog is dead enough that no one is really checking or reading this le..
so if he doesn’t get to read
it will just remain a secret between me and myself
hahaha

Air Asia Airline, DISAPPOINTING!

I had a really bad experience with AIR ASIA… yupz like many would say, a budget airline, what do you expect… but i guess this is worse than what most people would have expected…

Have you ever tried, purchasing for a ticket, prepared for the trip, all packed up and ready to go… filled with excitement and anticipation for the trip.. queueing up to check in with all your friends and rejected for boarding?

it is REALLY more than just the money… anything that money can solve is not a BIG problem… but it’s the EMOTIONS, the DISAPPOINTMENT that is unbearable…

Why do airlines even accept application and payment for air tickets, KNOWING that your passport expiry is less than 6 months hence will not be approved for boarding… is the airline more concerned of many a pleasant holiday trip for the customer or is it just the money that they are after… and ALL they care is about the money.. they don’t even bother if i can make it up the plane and for my trip…

after knowing my case, the ‘helpful’ staff could not do anything but to advise me to purchase ANOTHER one way ticket to join my friends the following day… still, they did not understand or at all bothers about the disappointment in the customer…

i called the service hotline and i got another very disappointing experience with the staff… i started off the conversation asking for the address of the head office and the response was, it is not convenient to disclose… =/

i mean, why would any company not be able to disclose their office address if they are a proper organization? then when i enquire of my situation, the ‘helpful’ staff on the line told me that there is nothing they can do in their department so i requested to be transferred to another department who can do something about it, which the response was that they can’t do anything about it at all… i wonder if the other departments existed… =/

well, i suggested that they should at least block the website from allowing people whose passport expiry is within 6 months to book for any flight.. and the ‘pleasant’ response i got was to log on to their website and fill in the feedback forms if there are anything i want to suggest…

this is a really very very disappointing experience i had… POOR or maybe even to the extend of BAD customer service… maybe there is NO customer service at all because as a customer, i did not feel serviced at all…

well, i guess that marks the difference between the different classes of airlines.. and that is why some airlines remain where they are… FOREVER…

one thing for sure, i am never gonna take another plane from AIR ASIA again… not even to concern getting tickets from them…

STOP TALKING TO ME!

each time i talk to you
my perspective of ‘you’ change so much!
so much that it simply blows me away

every encounter with ‘you’ is terrible
and it makes me feel like i have bitterness!
so will ‘you’ pls STOP TALKING TO ME!

the level of rudeness is beyond measure
so what if ‘you’ are right?
so what if ‘your’ rank is higher than mine in a sense
‘you’ are not my HOD
if ‘you’ not happy, go talk to my boss
STOP using this kinda attitude to talk to me

so terrible!
it’s almost horrendously disgusting!

Ranks and responsibilities

as the old saying goes, greater abilities come with greater responsibilities. and very much, each of us are given a role to play in our lives. in the world, in the family, in the society, in the company, anywhere.

Ranks = responsibilities. with every promotion comes greater responsibilities and if you cannot handle your responsibilities, please do not place them on me as though they are my responsibilities. willing i will be. things i can do and i will help. but when it is being forced on me, i don’t like.

i maybe C but yet it doesn’t mean that i LOVE admin. i bet no one in this world loves admin. i got a gift, i volunteer, i help. so stop making it as though it is my responsibility to get everything done.

1. i am not paid (i don’t mind NOT being paid and that is the fact. if i mind, i won’t not have help AT ALL.)
2. i am paid to be doing other things, so stop thinking that i got nothing better to do in the office
3. whenever i do help, i do it because i love God, i love His people and i respect u, so please don’t take it for granted because truly i am NOT really doing it just for u
4. i am a CREATIVE being, not an administrative being.

Like how Jesus do and teach, i believe that the best leaders are those who lead by EXAMPLE not command. as another old saying goes, people don’t care how much u know till they know how much u care. For your info, it applies to leaders too… because leaders = people also.. f3

A running tap

Pastors message on the Love bank seems have an effect of people evaluating the LU people are depositing into their banks

to have a need for refill of LUs in the Love bank as the bank is running dry vs having to be understanding which will u chose?
if you insist on a refill, ur account in the other person’s account will drop
but if you don’t, the person’s account in your bank runs dry
if you decides to be understanding, you fill up the other person’s bank
but you risk the chance of the person’s account running completely dry in yours

if love is to give, i am suppose to choose to be understanding
but then if at the end of the day the person’s account is dried up
is it the person’s fault or is it my fault for not insisting a refill?

if it were you, what will u do?

GROW UP!

recently i have been really super busy lei
i almost felt like i didnt live through the past few months
with all the big days and events after events
i felt like 2008 didnt end properly
but well, before i even knew it or felt it
i am 2 weeks into the new year le
have got alot of general thoughts that i wanna write about over the past few weeks
but i tink the dragging and dragging, finding time to write had killed most of them

i guess one of those that i remembered was that i was filled with the spirit of frustration
AAHHHhhhhh!
what’s wrong with some people man
work is like tat, relationship also like that
is it a wrong value thing or a childish thing wor
haix
its a brand new year
and people are still like that
well i guess i said it too many times to repeat myself here le
*praying for better working relationship with her

my patience was tested over a few of my friendships too
how do you feel about a friend who would tell you
“pastor say before, if i am the smartest in the group, its time to change a group. maybe its time i start finding a new group”
no matter how jokingly she might feel that she said it, the fact remains that its not funny
=.=

and i got a friend who ALWAYS IRRITATES me when i sleep
i dunno whether she didnt REALIZED that people tends to be more frustrated when they are tire but she seems to like to IRRITATE me alot especially when i sleep
throwing things at me and toking in her super loud and squeaky voice
=.=

well next, got nothing to do with my friends
but almost for the first time i felt like kicking someone’s ass from behind
dun worry i didnt do it
just felt very injustice for the guy
why would any guy give in to a girl who humiliates him in public
saw a gal with the bf walking in front of me at orchard mrt
then she demands to slap him
and the guy really let her slap
at that instant i was so tempted to lift my leg and kick her from behind but i didnt
subsequently she pinched him a couple of times and hit him a couple of times whilst walking up the escalator

sometimes are people doing things because it is was it seems like
but the fact is, wat it seems like might not be wat it should be
and it takes courage for people to stand up for wat it should be
someone once told a friend of mine that he is not ready to accept her into her life
though by nature it seems like they ought to be together
but he stood up for wat it should be, to tell the truth
though many pin pointed him and say that he is in the wrong
personally i felt that i rather he did tat then to ‘go with the flow’, get attached and make a whole mess out of it because in the first place he is not ready

people always talk about love languages and DISC
as much as they are very true, they are just gauge
if you expect people to be speaking your love language and complains all the time that they are not speaking yours
then i tink there should also be an evaluation on how much are we speaking their languages
if a chinese meets a japanese, is it unfair to expect the japanese to learn and speak chinese when u dont make any effort in learning japan
and all day long just complaining in chinese how much the person dont understand you

love is a two-way thing
love requires us to first give, before thinking of wat we are receiving
if all you think about is wat the other person can add to you, help you, love you
then you have not truly loved
if you really love the person, break up and separation is never an option

well, recently know of ALOT of people who changed their status back to single
like i said, there are only 2 reasons
1) thank God they found out they are not mean to be before marriage
2) they are not committed to work things out
whichever the case is, separation is surely cause a tear in your soul
and if your soul is not doing well, then all the other areas of your life will be affected too
hence my advise would be, dont get into a relationship until you are ready and willing to commit to the other person, for better or for worse

Makes or breaks you

like wat pastor Tan said
i tink the world is really looking for true friends
n its people who are close to you that actually makes or breaks u

i tink this year is the year where most of my friendships are REALLY tested
i mean in 2007 i gained many close friends
tat was a year of making many great friends
people coming together
but in conclusion i tink 2008 is a year where its really a year of testing of the foundation and values in the friendship

like wat i said in my public blog
to gain wat we can never lose
and to lose wat we can never keep
there are some friendships that grew closer
some friendships have got eternal values where u know that u will do ALL things to keep it going and to make it work
friendships where i am willing to lay down my life for
no matter how u try, u know u just cannot let it go
but there were others that once it breaks a part
somehow u just allows it to go if it really have to

sadly but true
everything is about choices
the recent test of values in my friendship with the girls are kinda breaking us apart
are we just there for the mountain top?
then where are they in the valleys?
is the meeting up more important than our personal wellness?

last week nixi and i did not join mar and fang for the friday girls night out
apparently they were so upset they complaint and ’show face’
mar even joking said tat the group is no longer committed, its time she leave and find another group
fang said that they were very very upset and i shoot her back la
i mean, were there not times where they were tire and didnt come out also?
and all these times, i am the ONLY constant in every outing
and as a highly contemplative person, i just felt that i need a bit of time

nixi was also going through her down
but yet they were not so open to hear her out
she tried to talk to mar but mar kinda ignored her
after our meeting with jo after svc
4 of us are going to airport to meet our members
but i just need to inform jo that Sun’s flight is one day earlier
then mar just said that she go first k cuz very long

its not like i am going to be preaching to jo
one sentence very long meh
well then fang left with her
so nixi and i took our time to take a bus and talk la
i guess we both felt just the same about the value of this friendship

at night we are met up at Siglap HK Cafe at 11 plus to celebrate Shilin’s b’day
and just like we expected
just pretend that nothing happened
i wonder how long more can this go on man
its either we talk about it or it will just become a suppressed bitterness that will explore someday down the road

actually i didnt join them because of a few reasons la
partly cuz God kinda showed me how i use to spend time with Him in the past
and now that He had given me these friends, have i then became too busy for Him
but well if this is gonna set our values on a check then i tink its time to check our values of our fellowship also wor

i believe that true friends are people close at heart
though sometimes cannot meet up as often
but in any situation u know that the person will be there to comfort and to support and to rejoice with u
someone who is true to u
happy when u’re happy, sad when u’re sad
so what if u have friends that meet up with u everyday but they were never truly there

Attack vs defense

woo time flew
end of the month le
was so busy with the Citynews and Asia conference
i could hardly meet up with my members during the whole AC

i guess in the midst of busy-ness arrows do fly
and they fly in LARGE quantities
haha
well i chose my stand to be on defense than to e attacking
but tink my defense skill not zai
so everytime also i kana

jus now pastor YK called from overseas to ask me do something
then think wenling tot i never do anything when she is away so i kana again
then she found out i got do
so she taught me some methods of defense
haha
=x

but i tink i got to brush up my defense also la
if not kana killed also dunno why

what changed?

yupz i am attached
but what changed?
being with ivan did not change my values
and it definitely did not change me for who i really am

in as much as how much friendship values to me
i guess i still valued them as much now
no matter how times have changed
i still believe that all relationships are built on the commitment of both

the mess with fang that time was finally cleared up
and now i know that our friendship is still growing strong
of course i cannot say that we are both were never affected and had never taken a step back
i did and i know she did too
but after the storm there will always be the rainbow
many times things are the way we sees it
not because it is really wat it is
but because we see it that way, it naturally becomes that way

*tinking of the message pastor shared a few weeks back about the crystal in the water*
experiments after experiments show the power of our confession
but how we think about something also causes a +ve or a -ve impact on it
things changes only as our thinking change

has anything changed because we began to see things in a different light?

nothing has been watered down
not my commitment to hang
nor my commitment to talk or share
i am still who i am

Intensity of a human heart

in as much as i would love to believe, trust and accept
i think i also got the be wise
even the bible talks about the human heart with the seeds of the 13 evil
having the potential to commit evil

despite of some occurring incidents and spiritual attacks
i would really love to believe that everyone has clear motives
and the fact that no one is perfect
but at the same time i would guard myself

i dunno how to say or wat to say
and i dun wan to be thinking or suspecting that anyone did anything
but some things happened and its really battle in the realm of the spirit
my mum knows what is happening
and not bad
her discernment quite zai
she could almost count the person’s step
but still i pray that what my mum felt is wrong
because as far as i am concern i still believe and trust the person till now

i believe that as long as i dun have wrong motives
my consciences are clear in everything i do
i can stand before the Lord on the judgement day
the person will stand before God themselves
and i am not to judge